I went into a village once. They sold drums made from human skin. I later found out that this was a village filled with cannibals. Funny story actually; I went to buy this human skin drum and asked how it cost. I expected to receive a price but all I got was hit with a bat on the head. Apparently I had ‘fine’ skin which would make ‘fine’ drums.

As you would’ve imagined I protested this motion but as with any other country I’d been in, my voice was that of the minority, was hardly heard, and I was taken to the drum making barn.

Moral behind the story? Always makes sure that you go for the factory produced drums. Homemade may sound better, but you might be boiled alive purchasing your musical instrument.

How am I still alive after all this you ask? Quite simple. I’m dead. Have been dead for quite a while and will remain dead for a long period of time. Irrelevant. I’m off.

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